SO glad its friday

this week was just one of those weeks.
i barely slept at all, just felt out of sorts. . . i'm glad its over AND that there is a three day weekend.
i was surprised by a lovely bday card from elena, who i have not seen or talked to on the phone in at least 6 years. we have pretty much just maintained contact through the occasional email or card- but its amazing to know some things/people just might last forever.
tonight there is a dolly parton inspired exhibit- thinking about going. . .drinking a tecate and really enjoying it. . .
last night anna and andrea, our clinician from PP, came over, and we had pizza and beer. its been weeks since i've seen andrea, and its always fun to have a lively convo with her and anna about HPV and gardasil and colposcopies and all that. i wonder if i would ever end up in the medical field . . .working at PP made me very interested in it, for a time, and seeing anna's success in nursing school is also inspiring. wouldnt that be fucking weird, if one day i became a nurse?! just like mom. . . yikes
its doubtful because i dont think i would have the energy to pursue it, but its neat to think about. id rather just buckle down and make myself into a writer, relying on alcohol and isolation to hone my skills haha.
i got a bunch of stickers off interpunk and decorated lafaundah the honda. . .she looks awesome. she also has a big pink duct tape bandage where her bumper is falling off.
this weekend, i have been in albuquerque exactly one year. WOW!

3 days till freedom is over!

i start my job on monday, but i have to admit, i am READY to go back to work. there were some great things about being unemployed. . . plenty of time for cooking and sleeping, rewatching seasons of buffy, buying things on craigslist, and having time to find a new place. the negatives far outweigh the positives though- i feel sluggish and unmotivated without a schedule, and i'm sick of doing housework and unpacking. i'm like a little ADD child who absolutely has to have some kind of schedule and routine, or i just go insane. i do feel really lucky i had this whole week off to unpack and get the house semi organized. i've just been running errands this past week. this weekend we have to clean out the old place, and i'm hoping to see my sister tomorrow.
note: i HATE the yasmin commercials. WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT! hey, shut the fuck up! yasmin is just an incredibly overpriced pill that is extremely similar to other pills- there are SO many types of pills that i think it's possible to find one that works for you, without having to shell out something like $65 a pack. you may as well use the nuva ring, which clocks in around $55. thanks bush adminstration!! but basically, don't believe the hype.
2nd note: apparently from my neighborhood, i can hear lions roaring at the zoo, and seals making. . .their noises, whatever those are called.
3rd note: the kids that live in the house behind us have a fucking POOL, and i'm sick of hearing their sounds of ecstasy as they splash and play all day. i was highly annoyed to chase gabe to the fence and see three little naked boys with their faces pressed against the fence, staring at me. gross. they also decided to throw a CD and a toy over the fence. little fuckers.

listening to: "sheila take a bow", the smiths; "sara", fleetwood mac

interviews

ah interviews, how i hate thee. i had one for a part time office assistant at a music school this morning. hmm, a little too familiar huh?? but hey, its just part time. the person who interviewed me was an older possibly russian woman who was incredibly nice but very brief. she kind of shooed me out, so i don't have much hope for it. i'm also not hiding my tattoos for jobs anymore. i wore a cute 3/4 sleeve jacket but you could still see the many tattoos, and i'm thinking granny didn't like them. such is life. i'll hide them for the greatest job of all time.
my last interview was for an office manager for a substance abuse counseling agency. i thought it would be the best job ever, but the interview showed that it would have been very PPesque. i hate when the interviewer offers no direction or leadership- ask me some goddamn questions, please.
in more interesting news, a bunch of former PPNM people contacted an affiliate from PPFA to represent us to the board and the CEO. So I'm not even sure if I will send my letter to them, because I don't want to mess with a solid wall of evidence that this awesome woman is presenting. so here, dear readers, is my letter in its raw uncut form- it may be a little off in places.

edit: i decided to just put some excerpts in.

Dear Planned Parenthood New Mexico Board of Directors:

I am writing to address the many concerns I have over the current state of Planned Parenthood New Mexico. I started as an assistant clinic manager of the Central clinic in October 2007. I had extremely high hopes for this position, as I am a staunch supporter of reproductive rights, and of the organization itself. However, I soon came to see that the current administration of PPNM is quite dysfunctional, and does not foster a positive work environment.......

After our windows were broken out in the clinic attacks in December 2007, I certainly expected a show of solidarity and unity between the administration and the clinics. Actually, there was none, and I cleaned up all the broken glass that littered the clinic by myself. Instead, they made some insincere motions about employee safety- for example, sending out an email instructing staff not to work alone. I was soon scheduled for a Saturday, alone. I expressed my concerns and was told by a member of the administration that that was an extreme email and not to worry. I insisted that I not work alone. That was just a typical incident where the administration showed no support of the staff.

PPNM seems to have established a trend of being incredibly unsupportive of their staff and clinicians. No one batted an eye at practices that I, the new person, found very disturbing. I essentially held our clinic together at a time when the entire Santa Fe staff quit, and my manager worked at the Santa Fe clinic 3 days a week. One other staff member and myself ran the entire clinic. 2 people doing everything from scheduling appointments, answering phone calls, greeting and rooming patients, and entering transactions for a full patient schedule is not only ridiculous, but incredibly unfair to the staff, clinician, and to the patients. However, no one in the administration thought that this was an undue workload. Thinking that my hard work might be acknowledged, I asked for a raise. I was promptly denied, and no one from the administration bothered to talk to me about it. Instead of trying to foster communication with employees to keep a quality staff, they have an attitude of “stop crying about everything.” And yes, that is a direct quote from a member of the administration. The pervasive attitude seems to be that rather than discussing employee concerns and possible solutions, employees should keep their mouths shut and soldier on.

PPNM loses quality employees on regular basis because of their lack of compassion and caring for the people who do the actual work in the clinics. This directly goes against the goals of both a non-profit and an organization that claims to support women and families......

......PPNM has no interest in maintaining a quality staff, just whatever staff will put up with their poor treatment and overworking. They don’t seem very bothered by the almost constant turnover in all of the clinics. Qualified employees are taken for granted, and there is essentially a revolving door of other employees who are just there to work, with no interest in women’s health or rights.

......In order to boost productivity, the schedules are extremely overbooked, and often the clinicians are not even able to take a lunch break. Staff and clinicians are not respected, and treated far worse than one would expect by a respected non-profit. Unfortunately, the term “non-profit” is often used as an excuse for the poor working conditions and low pay PPNM employees face.

When an organization is dysfunctional from administration down, it seems overwhelming and difficult to make any type of change. Any initiative I showed in trying to fix up the clinic was automatically shut down or ignored. I am sad that my time with PPNM ended this way, because I truly enjoyed working with the patients and staff. However, no one should have to put up with such a detrimental workplace. I am writing this letter in hopes that the board will intervene on the behalf of the employees of PPNM and most importantly, the patients, who will be much better served by happy employees in a positive, healthy environment......

Thank you.

unemployed

so as of saturday, i am unemployed. i ended my rather traumatic time at planned parenthood with an incredibly rowdy, hilarious, and fun party at my co-worker's house. i danced to lily allen, ate a lot of queso, and passed out on the couch.
i told myself i would remain calm, free, and unencumbered by financial related worries until june. of course panic is starting to slightly set in, ALREADY! and i hate it. i wish i had more direction/ambition/motivation.
this weekend i also saw juno. everyone repeatedly told me how much i would love it, i think primarily based on the fact that juno and i love all the same music. but it really was a cute heartwarming little movie that i thoroughly enjoyed.
last night i had the craziest dream. alicia and i were exploring haunted places in albuquerque and one of the places was a huge hideous mansion. you walked in and heard the story of the woman who died there- who was killed by her sister's ex boyfriend. he was in some kind of military top secret project and escaped and went insane. there was a long drawn out scene of the girl laying in a pool of blood, with her arm almost hollowed out. the girlfriend happened to be my former boss. then flash to me telling vic about it and saying, shit i'm scared, i hope he doesnt come after me. cue to me looking out the window, and this man is standing there with a gun. i scream at vic to get down, and then i jerked awake. scary! i think that dream is a combination of my excitement about the strangers movie + my obsession with watching "medium."

things i want to do:
crafts
learn japanese
start a steelers bar
go to culinary school
move into a nicer place
exercise
write 30 minutes a day
join the local buddhist center
work on my photography
dream less and do more.